Recently, I was speaking to a fitness trainer about why people have difficulty sticking to an exercise and diet plan and adopting a healthy lifestyle. She sees people all the time who teeter on the edge of having a heart attack or stroke but still won’t commit to doing anything to change the quality of their lives. “These people need to get sick of their own bullshit,” she said to me. She’s absolutely right.
The next day, I was speaking to a man and his wife about his history with exercise and diet. Both were obese and the man was one of those people who looked to be days away from his next heart attack. “Nothing ever works,” he told me. The truth is, consistently eating a healthy diet and engaging in regular exercise always works, until you stop doing it. What he was really telling me was that he didn’t work the plan to succeed, ever. He wanted something that would be easy, that wouldn’t challenge him to be any different from what he already was, but how was not changing his behaviour working for him? Not well, because he simply wasn’t sick of his own bullshit.
Change happens when you take responsibility for your outcomes. Nobody is responsible for your health, happiness or well being but you. Own it. If you are obese and your health is a mess, it is because you made terrible decisions to put yourself in jeopardy. Nobody else did that but you. You can always choose to make different decisions, however. Take responsibility for yourself and make the decision to be different. Not to try something different. Decide to actually be different.
Change happens when you find new ways to achieve a desired outcome. Part of taking responsibility for your life is taking the opportunity to educate yourself to support the changes you want to make. The internet is filled with information about diet and exercise. Seek knowledge because that will empower you to make better decisions. You will no longer be passively participating in your journey to health. Most people who quit trying to be healthy do so because they never empowered themselves to learn as much as they could. They simply followed a plan they had no emotional or intellectual investment in. The “Tell me what to do” mentality is passive and will lead to failure. You need to learn to think about how you are going to handle challenges before they come to you. You need to figure your shit out well before it even becomes a problem. You need to steer your own ship and not drift with the tide.
Change happens when you can envision a better outcome. I understand that when you have been allowing yourself to be less than you deserve, it is hard to see yourself in any other way. That is why it is so important to change the talk in your head and to envision yourself being different long before you get there. Helping people do that is my specialty. If you need help with that, let me know. Meanwhile, try watching this video a few times a day.
Change happens when you redefine yourself. If you think you were born to lose, then you will be. If you think you will always be overweight, then you will be. If you think you were destined to be trod upon, then you will be. Someone once said to me, “I guess I was just born to sacrifice myself to help others.” I told him all the martyrs have died and gone to heaven. There are no living martyrs. Just people with martyr complexes. He didn’t like that much. It is so much more fun to think you are some sort of hero serving the masses and sacrificing everything. That’s just another way of taking no responsibility for your own life. Ooh! There's some heavy shit. If you are in a rut, then you need to question how you define yourself. Do your thoughts fully serve you, or do they just feed your ego?
Change Happens when you surround yourself with supportive people. The people around us, influence our thinking. It is hard to be different when the company you keep represents everything you don’t want to be. It is also hard to change your life when your friends and family sabotage your efforts, put you down, and try to make you stay the same. Take responsibility for your relationships and join a support group like Belly Busters or consider private coaching. Being around like-minded individuals who support your goals will serve you well.
This isn't just about changing your weight. All of this advice works for changing any area of your life. Whether you want to lose weight, change careers, become fit, leave your marriage, or fly to the moon, nothing will happen until you get sick of your own bullshit. Go ahead. Dare to take control of your own life and decide to be different.
Maybe by now you've figured out I'm a no bullshit kind of gal. Here's some more stuff to know about me.
I am a certified coach practitioner and the founder of Belly Busters, a group coaching program that teaches people how to embrace a lifelong commitment to health and wellness. I am also a former public relations professional, adult educator and published author. My life experiences have been rich and have led me to the work I am doing to bring success and fulfillment to people all over the world.
I believe that nothing works well in life if we are not in harmony with our inner being. Self-destructive behaviours, self-sabotaging behaviours, anger, and control issues indicate that there is a disconnect between the outer self and the divine inner self. Once you heal that relationship, you will discover your career, your business, external relationships, your health, and overall wellness will improve dramatically. Please visit my website www.reneecormier.com for information about what I do and to reach me for support with your goals!